I haven't written anything in a long time, I think it is time i started again, it's beginning to show. so,  here it goes,

The pleading look in her eyes as i told her why was enough to make me want to rip my heart out myself, but i kept my face neutral, showing nothing, as i told her those evil words. i told myself it was the only way, that it had to be done, for her, and for everyone involved. It didn't make it any easier. "You have no place here, you have to go" I heard myself say. I wanted to kill myself for what I was doing to her, but I knew that with time these wounds would heal, and that she would see that what I did was for her. She started to cry, not wailing despairing crying, but a simple slow fall of tears, silent, but enough to reveal how loud she was screaming for me to stop, to hold her, to tell her that it was all a cruel joke, that I loved her, and that I wanted her to stay. I couldn't give in, not now, not after getting this far. I struggled to keep my emotionless face in tact, "I'm sorry, but I have to go." I turned around, and walked away. I heard her knees hit that ground, I didn't turn around.

I never saw her again, I pray everyday for god to give her strength enough to continue on. I will never forget the times we shared, or the look in her eyes when I told her they were wrong.